Friday, March 24, 2017
etisalat

Catboy

Catboy-400CATBOY

1. What can we expect from the new show?

You can expect some of your favourite bits to be exactly where they’ve always been and, of course, I will still be me. Middle-aged. Grumpy. At odds with modern society. Struggling to understand the complexities of fatherhood and marriage. We’ve also got a whole heap of new features. We just want people to get to wherever they’re going a little happier than when they set off.

2. If you didn’t have to get out of bed to do the show every morning what would you do instead?

Most mornings I’d lie in bed with my wife, drink coffee and watch Grand Designs, before whipping up a vegetarian (yet totally unhealthy) breakfast for everybody.

3. What’s the biggest thing that helps you create an amazing show each day?

People. I can prepare funny stories, big competitions and stupidity but when the phone rings and we get a good caller, that’s always the highlight of the show.

4. If you weren’t an RJ, what would you other career be?

Writing. I love it, in whatever form it takes. Stories, scripts, columns… I don’t mind as long as my mind is kept busy and creative.

5. Who would you rather be trapped in a lift with and why: Kim K or Beyonce?

Only an idiot would get in that lift.

6. Armani or Primani?

I’d rather go for ‘Comfi’.

7. One Direction or Backstreet Boys?

One Direction. Never liked BSB and shouldn’t really like 1D but the songs get into my head.

8. Gwyneth Paltrow or Chris Martin?

Chris Martin. Even though he’s back on the meat, I still love him. And I hate snobs who reject Coldplay outright just because they’re popular. The Coldplay gig in Abu Dhabi a few years ago was hands-down the best gig this country has ever put on.

9. Angelina Jolie or Jen Aniston?

I think Ange would be more interesting and definitely more challenging although, after years in the wilderness since ‘Friends’, Jen recently won me back with her performance in ‘Cake’. So I would have to say both. Not to my wife though. To her I would say NEITHER!

10. Is Kanye a genius or a massive idiot?

Neither. He’s good at marketing… Which seems to count for everything these days. I actually like him. He just Gaga without the meat dress. A soundbite-generating monster. Perfect for the Twitter generation.

11. Where do you want to retire, and why?

Who mentioned retiring? Seems like a slightly loaded question! I don’t have anywhere in mind. Somewhere in the country and somewhere coastal. My wife is from the New Forest which seems lovely. I’d be pretty happy ending up down there.

12. Who is the last person you went to dinner with?

My wife, Lorra, and kids, Leo, Honey and Betsy Pearl. We went to PikNik at The Westin (that’s as close as I get to dinner with my hours). Great afternoon in the sun and plenty of entertainment for the kids.

13. Favourite magazine in the UAE?

What’s On. The guy who writes the back page is a massive idiot genius.

14. Worst celeb you’ve met, and why?

Omid Djalili. I love the guy on TV and was really excited to interview him but he made it as difficult as possible. I was gutted.

15. Best celeb you’ve met, and why?

Michael Palin. My hero. A man who, after half a century in the entertainment business, is still a gentleman and an inspiration. I often refer to him as my fantasy granddad. And he’s from Sheffield. The greatest city on earth.

16. What superpower do you want?

The ability to slow down or freeze time, as it’s a precious commodity that I am desperately in need of.

17. Worst job you’ve ever had?

I worked on a building site in the middle of winter with holes in my boots and the ridiculously aggressive boss would often send me on to the unfinished, icy roof, even though he knew I suffered from vertigo.

18. Last time you laughed out loud – and what made you do it?

I was lighting candles at home then noticed my two-year old daughter, Betsy Pearl, going around singing the full “Happy Birthday” song at each one, then blowing it out.

19. How do you want to be remembered?

As a nice, normal bloke who didn’t let the job go to his head.

Five things you didn’t know about Catboy…

1. I cry at any sign of sentimentality on TV or in films.
2. I honestly believe I could land a plane if the pilot got ill (with no experience).
3. I have a dextrous tongue which I can turn into a shamrock and blow bubbles off.
4. If I cuddle you, you are very special as I am vehemently against physical contact.
5. I do not like being on sand or grass and will not go to the beach or on a picnic with adequate seating.