I’ve been there since the beginning and, like most, I’ve had my highs and lows with Lost. Geordiebird lost Lost during the last series, saying it had jumped the shark, or polar bear, or black mist, or whatever. Not me. I’ve been giddy with anticipation at this final season to see how they’re going to wrap it up. Let’s face it, there are more than a few loose ends to tie-up.

What’s great about the show is it almost breeds stupid theories and conspiracies online. Its plot is so varied in its stupidity, drawing comparisons with anything is possible. To prove that point I will now describe how ‘Lost’ is based solely on Dubai. On reading that, you’re no doubt skeptical. By the end of this post, I hope to have changed your mind.

1. The island is somewhere between Sydney and LA, so is Dubai. Of course so are fifty thousand or places but for the purposes of my theory, Dubai is the only one that matters.

2. The plane was carrying people from all over the world, who ended up living, working and surviving on the island. Dubai is brimming with expats from all over the world in exactly the same situation.

3. The island was already inhabited by ‘others’ when the people crashed there. Some friendly others hostile. Ditto Dubai, although for the most part the ‘others’ in Dubai fall under the former category and those in the latter are probably just a bit miffed about the occasional bit of naughty expat behaviour and don’t want to kill us all using an electromagnetic fence or anything.

4. The island changed the fortunes of people and allowed others to reinvent themselves. Hurley, the roly-poly unlucky guy had his fortunes changed. Kate, the saucy fugitive, reinvents herself as someone new. John Locke, the loser fantasist, becomes a bona fide outdoorsman, warrior, leader type. Ex-rock star junkie, Charlie, become the doting father figure. Dubai has its share of people who are working in jobs they wouldn’t get a sniff at in their home countries. The Emirate also has its expats with embellished histories, sexed-up CVs and fairy tale upbringings.

5. There are creatures on the island that have no place being there. A polar bear saunters around the jungle causing all manner of underwear laundry issues for anyone it encounters. In Dubai there’s the famed photograph of the guy driving along the road with a tiger sticking it’s head out of the passenger seat window. I’ve heard you can get polar bears out here, too. The only thing is they insist on having the air-con turned all the way down in the car.

6. The island is covered in monolithic buildings and statues, including the place where Jacob finally meets his maker (or does he?!) Do I need to draw comparison here? Not only that, I’m pretty sure the statue I’m talking about in Lost is the double of the ones outside Wafi Pyramids in Dubai.

7. Whenever a van is shown on Lost, it is being driven around the island wrecklessly and normally ends up in a crash. In fact the island is littered with broken down or smashed vans. Drive between any two points in Dubai and (a) you’re going to see plenty of vans being driven dangerously and (b) plenty of them are smashed up on the side of the road.

8. Lost was hugely popular four or five years ago. People couldn’t get enough of it. Everybody was talking about it for the right reasons. It was amazing. It could do no wrong. More recently though, people turned their backs on it. Some say it lost its way (no pun intended). Likewise Dubai has gone through a rough time in the international media. The same people who were waxing lyrical about fantastical islands, magnificent record-breaking architecture, amazing alpine slopes in the soaring 50ºc heat and every A-list celeb in the world clambering to buy property on the Palm or World islands, were suddenly jumping on every problem that arose in our sandy little enclave. One or two hacks even came over to Dubai, visited a few of the less salubrious hang outs and wrote pages of vitriol about it, as though that’s all there is here. Tell me a city on earth that I couldn’t visit and see a dirtier, darker side. Anyway, I’m not trying to get into a whole Dubai discussion. My point is Lost, like Dubai, is no longer the apple in the eye of the press.

9. On the island, Hurley didn’t get any thinner. He was living on a diet of mostly fruit and fish for practically four months (although he did occasionally find a little Dharma stash), plus he was going everywhere on foot, therefore getting plenty of exercise yet he still stayed MASSIVE! Dubai’s equivalent is the ‘Dubai Stone’. Due to the copious amount of food on offer, served at beautiful restaurants in the splendour of five (and the occasional seven) star hotels, most expats pile on plenty around the middle.

10. There came a point with Lost, maybe a couple of seasons in, when most people (even ardent fans like myself) just couldn’t suspend belief enough to keep faith in what we were seeing. Some people left. Some hung around to enjoy the ride but everybody knew that it was nothing more than an amazing, impossible, sense-defying, scary fantasy world that we’d never truly understand. I think the same can be said for Dubai.

So there you are. Another conspiracy theory. Try it. I’m pretty sure you could draw parallels between Lost and anything on earth… Butter, Hilary Clinton, Canal boats, the repackaging of Smarties from tube to angled, cardboard casing. As for me, I am going to carry on watching the show, enjoying it, being frustrated by it, reading about it and talking about it. The same goes for Dubai.

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